The Sugary Smell of Spring Time
April 6th, 2005 by Mark
Judging from the title you might think that this post is going to be about how it’s spring time and the flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping. I guess that could be what this post is about, but it’s not. This post is going to be about abstinence only sex education. Now, you’ve probably already heard (or can quickly figure out) all of the arguments for and against abstinence sexual education. But, I think I have something else to bring to the table.
The basic idea behind abstinence only sex ed is that kids should wait until marriage to have sex. By doing that you don’t have to worry about a lot of things like getting STDs, getting pregnant, or any of a number of other nasties. The sane side of the argument basically wants to give kids the most information possible so that they can make informed decisions about their lives. They argue that you basically have to assume that some kids are going to have sex and that it would be better to have them informed enough to protect themselves.
I was thinking about why conservatives are so upset that kids are having sex. I really haven’t quite figured it out yet. It’s pretty clear that it’s not entirely about protecting them from disease and pregnancy. There’s something that makes parents want their children to not have sex. If it was possible to absolutely guarantee that sex would not cause STDs and not induce pregnancy, I believe that parents would still not want their children to have sex until they were married (or at least well into their 20s). Maybe they’re just jealous. Lord knows they have something to be jealous of.
This brings me to what I’ve been thinking about recently. I really can’t think of anything more pure than being a teenager under the sheets with a beautiful girl. I’m sure it goes the same way for girls also. I know that the nights that I spent figuring things out as a 16 year old will probably be the most real moments of my life. Thinking back now, I don’t know that you can be more alive than that. Now, I don’t know why you would want your kid to miss out on something like that. I know it’s hard to see your kid like they’re a real person (hell, it can be hard to see anyone else as a real person), but they are. Clearly they deserve to have the opportunity to make memories like this. I just don’t know what it is that makes a parent so afraid of their child having sex. I think STDs and pregnancy are definitely part of it, but I think there is something else. If anyone can think of a real reason why, please let me know. Maybe it’s just that the bible says it’s naughty. But, even non-religious parents seem to feel the same way. Maybe I’m missing something obvious – feel free to comment.
So Mark, When was the last time you had a 16 year old under your sheets?
I think those are all the defining moments of you life. I completely agree that the time during the last part of your teens (call it 16-19) is the most visceral part of your life. Some of my most vivid memories are from these ages. I feel sorry for those who spent the time doing what their parents said they should so as opposed to what they needed to do. The whole of all of those moments and choices have created what I am today and I don’t regret any bit of it. Hells yeah I’ve made mistakes, big ones, huge ones even; but I wouldn’t trade any of those moments in for anything. Every missed class, every sour relationship, every bacon cheeseburger burrito and every sev’s run. I would have preferred not to have parted with Stony Brook, but it needed to be done and I am who I am today because of it. My Mom didn’t give me shit. I have had a job since I had a working card. I wish I didn’t have to work and I could have filled that time with studying for classes and hanging out like normal kids my age, but I learned an important thing. She taught me independence and that had been a valuable skill, but inadvertently it is the same independence that bit her in the ass when I didn’t need her anymore.
If my kids need to do drugs, get drunk and have sex to find themselves, so be it. I’ll bitch and I’ll moan; ride them like a good parent should but disobedience and bad credit is a part of every child’s coming of age. Matter of fact, when my kid looses their virginity, I’ll throw them a party. Welcome to adulthood, now get a job a move the fuck out of my house.